GET IN, LOVER

We’re going to stare into the abyss. Some day the abyss is just a dark void full of oil shine. But, I know it’s more than that. The abyss is a colleague, and has a higher ed degree. The abyss isn’t afraid to explore the wood at dusk or what the tarot cards say.

The abyss is punctual. The abyss considers. The abyss has discernment. When the abyss goes to their standing manicure/pedicure appointment, they only consider three colors: red (naturally), metallic blue, or espresso brown. In the abyss’s mind, there is never a fourth option. The abyss says, Love you to death, and means it. 

After all, the abyss reminds me, I kept your love letter. That’s very charming in its own right—wouldn’t you agree? The abyss tells me about its last five-star read. The abyss is trying to form a book club. I’m always looking for a new book and frankly, the abyss has quite refined taste. 

The abyss doesn’t believe in last rites and it will totally abandon any movie or book that ends up dull. Five minutes in or fifty pages in, and I am out, the abyss remarks. I really respect that. Getting to know the abyss is like savoring a fine wine. Even though I don’t know shit about shit, let alone wine, the abyss nods and laughs at my quip. That makes me feel special. 

It’s good to have a playful sort of rapport with the abyss. It keeps things interesting—wouldn’t you agree? 

The abyss dispenses solid advice, especially the more you get to know them. Don’t go out at night so much. Or, you may very well find a succubus. I squawk at that statement but the abyss cuts me off. 

I’m not joking, they say.

How do you think I got here? I remind them.

The abyss smiles. That is the joke. 

And what if we do encounter a succubus? What if then? I got us covered, love. The abyss says we can always hold a seance. It’ll be fun, they say. In fact, I’ve done it before with the abyss, just the two of us. It was really intimate. Especially when the abyss grazed my arm.

Some say it’s easy to get hypnotized by the abyss, that our irises can turn dark, darker than coffee, and no music will be satisfying enough except lo-fi ambient cinematic scores. I recommend investing in Brian Eno’s discography. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

The abyss says they’ve met supernatural creatures—don’t you think that’s wild? When did they tell me this? Oh, over drinks. Yes, it was just the two of us again. No, I didn’t think to tell you or notify you of my personal plans. It happened at the last minute. You’re not my dad. Unless you want to be.

But that’s another discussion for another time. No lover, you are not going to lose your lover to the abyss. Pinky swear—don’t you believe me? Come on, let’s go stare into the abyss. It’ll be just the three of us. It’ll be so intimate. I’ll bring coffee. The abyss enjoys a triple shot of espresso on days like this.